How to make Chicken Fry

Beauty is only skin deep
(Seriously, it's undercooked) 

I have made chicken a total of 1 time which I believe is sufficient experience to write this post. Learn from me how to make THE BEST CHICKEN FRY EVER!

Step 1:
Buy pre-skinned, pre-cut, pre-cleaned chicken because you don't know how to do any of those. And because you are a lazy mofo.

Step 2:
Stare at the chicken wondering what to do with it.

Step 3:
Google how to marinate chicken. Google tells you to make a paste out of the following ingredients: lemon juice, yogurt, ginger, garlic, chili powder, turmeric powder, masala powder, salt.

Step 4:
Realise you have only three of the said ingredients: chili powder, turmeric powder and salt.

Step 5:
Be the adventurer you are and proceed anyway with the available ingredients in whatever amount you want because mah lyf mah rul3zzz.

Step 6:
Give the marinated chicken some time to rest for anywhere between 1 hour to 12 hours (I'm trusting you, Google).

Step 7:
Proceed to fry the chicken. Warning - hot oil WILL attack you. I have three battle scars already with just the one time.

Step 8:
Once the chicken is fried, place it on a plate.

Step 9:
Stare at it again wondering if it's safe to consume.

Step 10:
Decorate with coriander leaves, mayonnaise etc to disguise the monster you created and make it look edible.

Step 11:
Force your significant other to eat it. If he refuses, stuff it into his mouth.

Step 12:
Wait till he pretends to like it. If he doesn't, breathe on his face till he does.

Step 13:
DONE. NO MORE STEPS.

You're welcome.

Tune in for more cooking tips.

The scars of my past (hour) will haunt me forever
(I tried zooming in but it looked like a fucking nipple)