Oops I'm in Saudi

How did I end
up here?

Sabah-Al-khair everyone!

Earlier this year I left my old amazing monotonous life in India to start a new amazing monotonous life in Dammam, Saudi Arabia. So far, bomb attacks: zero. Cultural shock: moderate.

Things I Am Grateful For!

I know last time I said my next post will be in 2016. But you can't tell me how to live my life! Before this year ends I'd like to make a quick list of things I am grateful for in my life so far.

Goodbye '15

Hello my lovelies! How has your year been? As for me, just the last month I visited The Rook Islands and did a ton of crazy shit there. To name a few I'd say island hoping, paragliding, skydiving with a wingsuit, hunting tigers with a bow, killing pirates, rescued my friends, smashing slave trade and drug trade by killing the boss - all without even leaving my room! Maybe my gaming is getting just a teensy bit out of hand. Next year I'll be kicking ass in Gotham city and perhaps even be able to afford Fallout 4 (take the hint for my Christmas present already).

I can be the okayest lawyer ever!

Next time someone steals candy from your child, call me! I'll slap a million dollar suit on the mothafucka for causing emotional distress to your family and the childhood trauma your child faces because of the candy-snatching.

If your child turns out to be a candy-snatcher, I'll slap a million dollar suit on the baby for provoking and threatening your child with a mean candy. The only thing your child will be guilty of is self-defense.

Alien Invasion Survival Kit

They are coming. Maybe they already have unleashed their minions upon us. Have you noticed how suspicious crows are? Could they be spies for an alien warlord? What if mosquitoes are trying to get hold of our DNA? What if penguins are just pretending to be cute and cuddly? What if your pet is plotting to kill you?

Hum Do, Hamare Do

Yesterday China announced their decision to end the one child policy. Now Chinese couples are allowed to have up to two kids. Does that mean we need a bigger planet now? If only Genghis Khan had enforced this policy on himself, China may not have had a population crisis to begin with.

I didn't type this. My laptop did.

The human was a grumpy old lady.

She hated her life. She hated her house. She hated the weather. She hated her walking stick. In turn, they all hated her too. She has been growing grumpier by the day because she could no longer sleep well at night. She started drinking tea every night because the doctors precisely told her not to.

Random Stuff I Hate

13 published posts and my imagination pool is already drying up! Here are some random stuff I hate -

Damn you, ovaries.

So there is this bitch in my life who visits me every month for a week, occasionally without warning and at totally inappropriate times. She is a LOT to put up with. Stupid bitch. You get me, right?